I can't believe I missed my chance!
Back in the day, I used to feel obsessed with the University of Oxford. Of course, what not to love: world class education, amazing campus and bountiful opportunities upon graduation.
Although those things mattered to me, the reason I was striving to go to Oxford was to prove that I was good enough. No one can question your value, if the University of Oxford acknowledges that you’re worthy of consideration.
I couldn’t afford to pay for my tuition, so I applied to a competition, Chevening Scholarship, run by the British Council. Every year, one lucky person could get full funding of the tuition fees and living costs to study in the UK. If you passed the interview AND you could get 7.5 out of 9 points in the IELTS test, you could go to Oxford!
Well, you didn’t have to ask me twice. I spent about four months, doing four IELTS tests a day, yes, a day. Each test took two hours. I did one before I left for work, one during my lunch break and two late into the night in the evenings. I also hired a British tutor who spent two hours with me twice a week simulating the exam. I bought every IELTS test in town.
And of course, I got that score!
But… the competition ran slightly later that year and the admission to Oxford was already closed. I was offered admission to London School of Economics (LSE) instead, but for various reasons I chose the University of Birmingham in the end.
This is just a backstory though. The main story begins when I was in my third year of doing PhD at the University of Birmingham. Someone said I should start applying for jobs, at least for practice purposes, and I gave it a go. When I saw a position at the University of Oxford to teach European Law (which was my specialism), I felt tempted. I thought I didn’t stand a chance, but longing for validation prevailed and I sent my application.
I was stunned when they invited me to an interview. Utterly stunned! This could finally prove my worth. If I got a job at the University of Oxford…
Can you guess what happened next?
I declined the invitation. I made some lame excuse and didn’t go to the interview!
Because a part of me felt like an imposter.
The same part that was driving me to get that recognition, got in the way of this opportunity.
How many missed opportunities have you had in life? What got in the way? How many opportunities are you missing now, by playing small and holding back?
P.S. Ready to end this pattern? Join the new live round of my Good Enough course. We begin on 4 June. You can join the course here: www.gularavincent.co.uk/good-enough
Alternatively, you can sign up to the Healing Room which gives you access to the Good Enough course + monthly EFT tapping sessions + past recorded classes.
www.gularavincent.co.uk/thehealingroom
And if you want a deep dive into healing ancestral and parental stories of not enough-ness that shaped your present day reality, you can join my practitioner training. You'll receive 6-month access to the Healing Room for free.
Level 1 practitioner training www.gularavincent.co.uk/practitioner-training
Level 2 practitioner training www.gularavincent.co.uk/practitioner-training-level2
If you want to take both levels of training, you can save an extra £833 on the full price of the training:
Levels 1+2 payment links:
Full pay: https://gulara-vincent.mykajabi.com/offers/bTLLUse8
Payment plan: https://gulara-vincent.mykajabi.com/offers/iiYGFAqB
Warmest wishes
Gulara