How to reclaim your sense of self-worth
Back in 2005, I came to the UK to do my Master’s programme in European Law at the University of Birmingham. I won a Chevening scholarship, run by the British Council (there was one scholarship per country at the time).
To be honest, I don’t know how I managed to complete my degree. It was a massively traumatic year for me: I was in a long-distance abusive narcissistic relationship and I had no clue how the British academic system worked. Still, I nearly achieved a first class degree (I was only 0,5% short).
Nearly wasn’t good enough though. Graduating with Merits felt like a failure, so I didn’t attend my graduation ceremony.
Next up was my PhD in Law. This time nothing short of perfection was acceptable to me. The price was high: anxiety, imposter syndrome, RSI towards the end of my PhD, massive stress… And all because I did not feel good enough.
I put tremendous amount of pressure on myself to pass my PhD viva without a single correction. It was as if that would finally prove how capable and worthy I am.
And you know what? I did it. The ‘God’ of European Law from the University of Oxford, who published his first leading textbook on EU law the year before I was born, said I was good enough to pass with flying colours. Of course, I attended that graduation ceremony.
Still, I’ll never forget the morning after my PhD viva. I woke up fully expecting to be the best version of myself. Sadly, if anything, I felt even worse, empty somehow. However amazing my examiners were, someone else’s praise did not make me feel more worthy.
For years, this pattern showed up on a smaller scale when I received students’ feedback about my teaching (I’d have dozens of positive remarks, but my attention would go to the one that wasn’t quite as admiring); the same happened with my clients: hundreds of amazing testimonials, but if I had one disgruntled comment, it used to crush me.
Feeling good enough is an inside job.
To reclaim your inner sense of worth, you need to heal the stories that left you feeling inadequate and insecure. Without the inner work, the external accolades can only magnify your sense of inadequacy and make you feel like an imposter.
If this is how you feel, I can help you.
Join the new round of my Good Enough course. We begin on 4 June. Sign up here: www.gularavincent.co.uk/good-enough
Alternatively, you can join the Healing Room which gives you access to the Good Enough course + monthly EFT tapping sessions + past recorded classes.
And if you want a deep dive into healing ancestral and parental stories of not enough-ness that shaped your present day reality, you can join my practitioner training. You'll receive 6-month access to the Healing Room for free.
Level 1 practitioner training www.gularavincent.co.uk/practitioner-training
Level 2 practitioner training www.gularavincent.co.uk/practitioner-training-level2
If you want to take both levels of training, you can save an extra £833 on the full price of the training:
Levels 1+2 payment links:
Full pay: https://gulara-vincent.mykajabi.com/offers/bTLLUse8
Payment plan: https://gulara-vincent.mykajabi.com/offers/iiYGFAqB
Warmest wishes
Gulara