Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

I've been having such fascinating conversations about pain and suffering on my FB page. Given that it's the most engagement I've ever got on any of my posts, I wanted to share my perspective and a healing resource - the recording of my 3 hour intensive for £15 (90% off!)

I grew up in a culture and household where martyrdom was glorified (it still is). Until the day she died, my grandmother said - with pride - that she hadn’t lived a day for herself. Programmes of self-sacrifice permeated my whole being. 

Suffering was the way of life.

You were a better person for it - and of course I wanted to be a good person and earn the love of my family. 

At some unconscious level, I made things so much more difficult than they needed to be, as if the struggle added validity to my achievements. 

Letting go of this pattern, and the identity attached to it, wasn’t easy. My whole sense of worth was tied to struggle. My body was addicted to adrenaline and cortisol, so it took time to heal and for my system to relax, but it has been so worth it. 

The thing is, if you believe that suffering makes you a better person, your system will keep seeking out more suffering. 

I remember thinking: I want to heal… but not too much, because I feared I’d lose the drive to grow—that suffering somehow spurred me on. 

Having healed a lot of trauma, I now know that my soul seeks growth anyway. I can grow from expansion and joy… or I can do it the hard way. 

And perhaps you’re thinking: Well, what about all the terrible things that have happened in my life and in the world? 

You may have heard this saying: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” 

We all experience pain - heartbreak, illness, injury. Emotional and physical pain is part of being human. 

But suffering is optional - it's the meaning you attach to that pain. And its effect can last far longer than the original wound. 

If you’re ready to heal the roots of your suffering, I have something special for you.

For the next 48 hours only (until 3pm on Monday 8 December), you can get the recording of my 3-hour intensive for £15 only (90% off). 

Here’s the link: https://gulara-vincent.mykajabi.com/offers/MzvhqobL I’d love it if you could share this link with your friends. 

Let’s ease suffering in this world, by attending to yours first.